It happens in every workplace. There will be situations where people get a little too passionate and argue. But arguments at the workplace can be productive rather than disruptive if they are managed effectively.

Here are ways to prepare, conduct and move on from an argument.

Before the argument

1) Deal with the issue quickly

Set a goal to resolve the problem within one week. Plan a reward for yourself afterwards so you’re less likely to delay the issue. Issues are solved easier if raised early, before people’s opinions have become fixed.

2) Schedule a meeting for the discussion

Create an agenda the informs everyone involved what will be discussed beforehand. A set agenda gives everyone the chance to think about the issue before discussing and avoids possible blindsiding.

3) Gather facts and evidence.

Make a list of the points you want to make and collect supporting data about each one.

For example:

• If discussing budget issues, use financial reports.

• If reviewing customer perception, bring relevant testimonials.

• If it’s a staff problem, include examples of when actions didn’t meet expectations.

4) Keep your arguments simple

Write down every point you want to make and then choose the most powerful and focus on those

5) Understand the opposing point of view

If you’re not sure about the other person’s views on the issue, try to approach the topic beforehand to get a clear understanding of their position. Stepping into the mindset of those argue with allows you to understand what’s influencing them.

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During the argument

1) Don’t raise your voice

If you feel like you’re losing your cool, take a step back and put the conversation on hold. Have a coffee break or ask for a review of the points raised so far.

2) Don’t cast the blame

Instead of using ‘you’ statements such as “you did this,” try using “I” statements such as “I feel that”. ‘You’ statements can make people feel like they’re being attacked.

3) Use visuals

Offer up visual evidence to help everyone better understand the arguments. For example, draw lists of pros and cons on a whiteboard or a sheet of paper.

4) Use positive body language

Sit with your body and head facing the person you’re talking to, showing that you’re engaged. Keep your arms relaxed at your sides, showing you’re open to what is being said.

5) Ask open-ended questions

Make sure none of your questions can be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, Instead try starting questions with the 5W1H: Who, What, Where, When, Which and How.

6) Don’t make it about winning

If you feel that it’s the best option to help you and your coworkers move forwards, don’t be ashamed to concede ‘defeat’. Putting the interests of your team above your own ego shows humility and inspires teamwork.

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After the argument

1) Offer an apology.

If the argument has become heated, accept responsibility and communicate regret for your part in it.

2) Gather facts and evidence

After the meeting, get everyone to rate the meeting from 1-10, then ask how you could get it to 10.

This helps to bring a bigger perspective to the argument, provides feedback in a constructive way and brings the focus onto improving and moving forward.

3) Use a mediator

If there are still tensions, ask someone from the HR team to act as a mediator. Having a mediator helping you deal with the issues means that you will:

• Have a chance to work through issues in a safe respectful space facilitated by an impartial expert

• Have a confidential and informal process

It’s not always possible, or wise, to avoid an argument at work. But, constructive conflict can actually help improve your working relationships and build trust.

Remember that the point is not to win the argument but to find the best solution for everyone.

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Source: resume.io